Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Fighting the Evils of: Shyness

I'm a shy girl. I've always been shy, and it's never been easy. I have anxiety as well, and that's only made it more difficult. But today I'm going to talk about shyness and some tips that have helped me. These won’t work for everyone, but here are some tips of mine.

1) Remember you’re worthwhile.
This is something really hard for me in particular. Many times when I meet new people, I think about how much cooler they are than me, how much more adult they are, how together they have it and why on Earth would they ever find what I have to say valuable?

Well, guess what. They should. Because I am worthwhile, my thoughts are valuable, and so are yours. So are everyone’s. It can be so hard to remember this. And you won’t hit it out of the park every time. I stress over every lame joke I made, every comment about Pok√©mon that fell flat, about every time someone spoke over me. But for every time this has happened to me, I gotta remember it’s happened to everyone else too.

I deserve to be heard, and so do you.

2) Reach out in ways that make you feel comfortable.

This will be different for everyone! I take little steps throughout my days. When I'm working at the library, if someone is checking out a book I liked or one that sounds interesting, I'll tell them. When I'm with new people for class or work, I try to connect with them on a level that I’m familiar with: usually books or media or, well, food.

This works on the Internet as well! (I'm even shy on the Internet.) When I'm reaching out to someone new for an interview for Girls Fighting Evil, I try to reach out to people who I think may connect with the series. Sometimes, I'll be a fan of someone's work, have to take a deep breath, and just ask! It can be really scary. But you know what? I’ve only been turned down a few times. (And that's okay- being interviewed for this series is NOT for everyone.) So many more people have agreed! Take a chance to connect with people on things you love. Not everyone will gel with you. That's part of life. But some people will. So many people will, more than you realize. 

People will tell you to get out of your comfort zone and that's true. We should always push ourselves to grow. But it doesn't have to mean jumping in to something that scares you. Little steps are okay. 

3) Take care of yourself.
If you're shy, you're quite often (but not always!) an introvert. An introvert means that you recharge from spending time alone. That's okay! Spend some time alone. It's good for you to spend some time doing the things you love: blogging, writing, drawing, reading, whatever. It'll make you happy, and that is absolutely the most important thing. 

Sometimes after spending a lot of time with new people or trying to put myself out there, I really need some time to just relax. I write, I blog, I craft, I read. I'm really busy in my little world alone! It's okay. It's good. Everyone's world works differently. 

Don’t overexert yourself in your quest to not be shy. Take small steps, reward yourself, and give yourself time to do whatever you love, where you feel comfortable. You deserve it!

♥ Meredith from One Sheepish Girl is the shy queen of blogging. Check out her Blogging for Confidence series.
♥ You know who always has good advice? Amy Poehler. (With bonus advice from genius Aubrey Plaza.)
♥ Here's a cute little booklet by Omocat with ways to overcome shyness.

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